Fostering special needs is a multidimensional job that entails general parenting and a plethora of other things. Parenting is one of the hardest, toughest jobs in the world. Parenting children with special needs often involves navigation of complex challenges and emotions on a daily basis. In this blog we are going to discuss some tips which can make your life easy if you are a parent with a special needs child.
Educate yourself
As much as you love your child and want to make everything better for them, take away all the pain and solve each and every problem for them as soon as it occurs, having a special need complicates things. There is no shame in admitting the fact that whatever special need your child has, you probably have little to no knowledge about it or how to handle such need before your child was diagnosed with it. So, one of the first steps after acknowledging the truth, is being educated about it. Science has progressed a lot in the last decades, you can easily do your own research from credible sources from the palm of your hands. The more you read about their needs, the easier it will be to make informed decisions about everything that you originally doubt about. Their needs will be easier to manage.
Seek Professional Support
Break the stigma of reaching out to health care professionals, therapists, psychiatrists, pediatricians to know more about your child’s special needs. It will give you a sense of control over the management of the situation and you can have guidance and support of individuals who can always back your research findings about the special needs.
Communicate with your Spouse/Family
Fostering your special needs child should be your ultimate priority, which is easier said than done. Communicate with your spouse, as much as you can, to avoid any misunderstandings in the routines and activities that are being set by you for your child. Remember, you are in this together and every single child needs to see their parents working as a unit that gives them a sense of security. A healthy family dynamic is important for households that have a special needs child. Take your other children in confidence about situations so they can help you build a strong foundation of trust in your home. Let them help you navigate the complexities.
Establish routines
It is imperative that your household has rules and routines to cater for the special needs of your child. Children generally strive in routines so fostering a child with special needs depends on how well you can set a routine for that child. Routines will give your child a sense of control over their situation and can relieve the mental stress that comes with the unknown. Having a proper routine will also minimize tantrums and unexpected emotional outbursts, the child knows already what his day looks like and therefore has a sense of understanding. Keep them in the loop while making their routine so they can feel confident and eventually have a sense of control.
Be flexible
Regardless of the fact that you might have read every single thing written about your child’s condition, understand that there is always room for something unexpected. Adapt to complex situations with flexibility, reconsider your expectations and adjust the strategies according to the child’s ever changing and evolving needs. Be prepared for any scenario and trust your gut in unexpected situations.
Prioritize Self Care
Self-care often feels like a luxury when it is a necessity for parents with special needs children. You are not a bad parent if you need to take care of yourself first. It feels selfish to take care of yourself when there is a child who demands extra care for their well-being. But in reality, your mental and physical health is as important as the child’s. If you are unfit in any regard, the repercussions can be significant. Focusing on the fact that you are being your absolute best will result in your child’s healthy upbringing as well. If you yourself are anxious, worried and depressed and are in no shape to care for a child with special needs, those mental stresses can very easily seep into the household and create a difficult environment.
Build a Support Network
Try to find other families with similar situations. It will help you understand the dynamics of other’s strategies and give you more options for what else you can try to see works for you and your child. It also creates a sense of relatability among parents and children, who know that they are not alone, and they have other people they can look up to. Being part of a group can also help you in other ways where you need connections to look into educational requirements, health care system, financial aspects etc as well.
Encourage Independence
Try to include tasks that your child can easily do in their daily routines. With patience and repetition, encourage your special child to become a healthy part of society. Celebrate small success and set achievable goals for them to work on. Positive feedback always boosts children’s self-esteem and motivation. Know that every single person has a special set of qualities and strengths and while your child may have some needs that have to be catered for, they also must have some unique abilities that you can cherish and focus on.
Practice Patience and Understanding
The P in Parenting is for Patience. Always remember that your child didn’t mean to be this way and it’s not something they could have controlled. Understand where they are coming from and practice patience in all areas of parenting. Keep in mind that your child is frustrated, and they can’t help it, it is you who has to make things better for them. Encourage talking about their feelings so that slowly and gradually they learn how to communicate what they are feeling in a better way, instead of going through a melt down
Take breaks when needed
It takes a village to raise a child. Find your village, your people who would provide you with a break from the monotony of the situation. The key is for you to be at your 100% so that you can deal with everything that comes your way. Take some time off, you definitely deserve it, it is not a bad thing. Instead, it will recharge your battery and change your perspective on a lot of things.
Fostering Special Needs
The stress of parenting increases ten folds when your child has some sort of special need, but always remember that there are others like you, who are there to support you and take care of you while you fight this silent battle against the cards you are dealt with. You may go through a roller coaster of emotions in a day and it is important to validate those emotions in order to work through them. Every parent loves their children, that is a fact, and having a child that has some special need doesn’t change it. Try to find a balance between work, life and caregiving, however it suits you and especially the child. Talk about your worries with friends and family, or a health care professional. Know that you’re not alone. Try seeking out resources and communities that are available to support you in this journey. Don’t worry, You have got this!